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Spirit Relationships for a Defensible Home, Part Two: Inside the House

In my blog on Warding for a Defensible Home, I mentioned that spirit relationships are a layer of my defensibility, and in my last blog, I discussed relationships with spirits who dwell outside my house and property. For this blog, I’ll be focusing on the inside.

The above picture shows part of my hearth shrine, including: my hearth candle, the candle and offering cup for my steward, his spirit house, a nisse plush doll he asked for, a wooden box containing his other treasures, and a few mushroom decorations we’ve given him as gifts over the years.

Inside my house, besides the house itself, there are a number of spirits I consider to be part of my household, several of whom also assist in home defense. These spirits travel with me when I move, for the most part, and they’re connected to me (or to other human members of my household) more than to the place. In your house, you might also think about including any benign spirit residents or hauntings, if you have them, but the place I live now was uninhabited in that sense when we moved in.

My personal preference when it comes to spirits inside my house is to have a thriving ecosystem, not a barren void. I find that having a number of spirits around reduces the number of interlopers I get, as the space is already inhabited and busy. Plus, when unwanted guests do show up, I don’t have to rely on only my own awareness to sense them — I have help from the spirit members of my hosuehold, who can get my attention much more easily. I do get a fair number of unexpected guests who are willing to follow the house rules and play nicely, or to wait patiently for my attention in my office, and I think it helps that there are enforcers already here to keep them in line.

Some people might not want any additional residents or household spirits, or they might not feel equipped to handle them, and that’s fine, they aren’t necessary. But if you’re a reasonably advanced enough spiritworker to handle having spirit members of your household, and you’re interested in having spirit roommates who can help with making your home more defensible, I recommend having at least two: one to function as a steward and make sure the household is running smoothly and any problems with wards/etc are coming to your attention, and one to function as a guardian to help keep interlopers out, or to kick out any spirit guests who fail to follow the house rules. My household has quite a few at this point, but I have one of each of those, and they’ve both been with me for years. I can’t count the number of times they’ve been helpful, and I really find them to be invaluable.

My house steward is something like a brownie or a nisse, though when I first met him I did specify that I was looking for someone who would not be offended by a bit of clutter (which brownies are known to be, in folklore). Between the small child, and every adult in the household having some kind of disability, there’s just no way my house is ever going to be as clean as a magazine spread, or even as clean as I’d like it to be, and I’ve sort of had to make peace with that. A very finicky spirit would have just been incompatible and a waste of both our time, so I was sure to be specific in what I was after.

The closest this-world analogue to my guardian is probably a leopard, but she’s not an earthly creature (mundane leopards don’t usually glow blue), and she doesn’t have a fixed size, which is very useful in a defender. She doesn’t leave the property, though — she will chase things to the property line (if she doesn’t eat them), and then stay within my wards. Sometimes she’ll be aided by Scotty’s wolf companions, and those will follow things off the property and continue to pursue them (as long as the engagement is within the bounds of our agreements with the local Fair Folk). The leopard is also a spirit I sought out; the wolves are members of a pack to which Scotty’s wolf spirit familiar (for lack of a better word) belongs.

I mentioned in the first blog paying special attention to things like electrical cords and pipes flowing into your home, and we have two spirits who help with the management of those, and also of less physical egresses: mirrors and dreams. The first is a giant spider queen (or so she introduced herself), who, with her numerous children, guards our mirrors, the dreams of the human members of my household, and our internet connections. That last wasn’t something I’d even considered at first, but she offered, and made a pun about guarding webs. We first sought her out when we were having difficulties with nightmare attacks. The second spirit is more like a cluster of spirits, something akin to a siphonophore, a marine creature that’s actually a group of organisms that all have specific functions. They help maintain and protect our electrical and water systems, and in addition to guarding them, also have let me know on several occasions when something is beginning to go wrong with one of those systems. The siphonophore was brought to us by Manannán Mac Lir, when we consulted Him for possible help as we were settling into our current house.

Manannán also brought us two more of our current household spirits: a cleaner shrimp who changes sizes, and a fish similar to a cleaner wrasse (the species of which I haven’t been able to identify). The shrimp assists in removing stagnant energy that is missed or somehow gets stuck even despite my flushing system (which I mentioned in my warding blog). The fish removes small energetic parasites or other flack and detritus from the human members of my household, and sometimes from other people who enter our home, just to keep us from accidentally picking up their hitchhikers. They also both assist me in my healing work on in-person clients. (They aren’t the only ones, but describing that crew would fill another whole blog!)

As I’ve briefly touched on above, the spirits in my household mostly came to me by two means: 1) they were brought by a deity, or 2) I sought out a spirit that would fit a job description. The first method is fairly self explanatory, I think — just ask one of your gods whom you trust for a spirit helper, and verify the spirit when they arrive. The second method, however, is a little more involved, and I’d like to briefly describe my process. (Though if you’re not interested, feel free to stop here!)


My first step to deciding what kind of spirit to invite into the household is to identify the role, niche, or job I/you would like them to fill. Do you want a house guardian that will hunt and eat malevolent entities that come near your house? Do you want a house wight that’s more like a butler, keeping things running smoothly and helping you keep energies clean and tidy? Do you want a familiar, to help you with your craft? Do you have something specific you want to learn, and are you looking for a spirit that can teach you? Once you’ve figured out what general sort of relationship you want, start thinking about what sort of species or type of being you might like best. Be specific in who you’re looking for as you draft your contract!

Another consideration is offerings. Decide what sort of offerings you could provide, and how often, based on your budget. Most spirit companions are given offerings of food — is there anything you wouldn’t be willing to offer? One of my friends is a vegetarian, but she doesn’t mind buying fish, so she had to find a guardian spirit that would be happy with fish over red meat. I typically offer the leopard, wolves, and spider some kind of meat we’ve cooked as part of our own dinner, or raw pieces we set to the side before cooking the rest. My steward gets the first splash of any whole milk or cream, and also baked goods or potatoes or oatmeal. The other three that I mentioned above I light candles for, as they get enough to eat simply doing their jobs. You’ll also have to decide how frequently you’ll make offerings, and include that in your contract proposal.

Once I have an outline for the contract, I usually write it out in the manner of a personal ad:

SEEKING [type of spirit to fill a specific role],
and OFFERING [what you’re willing to provide]
.

Once it’s written out, I sign it, and then send it out into the universe the way I might any other wish-spell. For me, that usually means a candle spell, but this can be adapted to suit any practice. Then — you wait, and see who answers!

When a spirit shows up, you’ll want to conduct an interview, similar to any human household employee. You’ll need good spirit-sense and discernment: call on your gods and guides to make sure you aren’t being deceived by a malevolent being; use divination to check that you’re understanding the spirit’s answers correctly. If you get multiple who show up, interview all of them, to find the one that seems to fit best. When you’re satisfied that a spirit is a good match, go over any house rules, and really nail down the contract details. Then it’s time for the binding agreement, which works best as a ritual (but again, is adaptable to suit any practice). I find that it’s best to start with a probationary period of about a month before moving on to something more permanent. You can attempt to renegotiate at any time, but it’s better to get the details as right as possible at the beginning! My final step when inviting someone new into the household is to do introductions to the others, if I haven’t already. My steward is usually involved in the interview process, but it’s a good idea for everyone to meet everyone else, and that includes introducing them to the land spirits.